Forgiving even when it's hard.

It’s truly a choice I have to make often. Not just for him or the relationship, but for myself.

Forgiveness, it’s easier said than done. Oh the many times I’ve allowed myself the ability to grow frustrated then slowly shut down rather than sharing my feelings. Allowing my pride to blindside me & cause me to feel like saying sorry was a sign of weakness. I struggled with expressing how I felt because I just already made up in my mind he wasn’t about to listen or understand how he may have hurt me with his words. Even if it was unintentionally.

But you see that’s how unresolved bitterness begins to creep in. A foothold for the enemy to run around & create false tension built off of the misconception that when you forgive you have to forget & just move on. That’s not why we forgive. There may be pain that was caused & trust even broken, & healing needed to take place. There’s no telling how long someone needs for their wounds to be healed in a relationship, could take years. It’s a process.

It’s truly a choice I have to make often. Not just for him or the relationship, but for myself. I’ve seen people never forgive in their hearts & bitterness hardened the warmth they once had. Relationships & marriages crumbled because resentment took the place where love once was felt.

Yes, it may seem easier to shut down, to give the silent treatment, or tell yourself he/she doesn’t care because they hurt you. Trust me, I’ve done all of these things, but truthfully, these things do more harm than good. It messed with my emotional, spiritual, & physical state. It placed anger over peace in my heart. If there’s one thing I could control it was my own happiness. Choosing to heal when I’ve been hurt. Learning to not let my pride get the best of me. Owning my own wrongs & saying sorry when needed because actions speak louder than words. Forgiving because I myself have been forgiven. Who do you need to forgive?