I can't change him, but I can change myself.
I allowed my own pride to cause unnecessary tension in our marriage. I had to really check myself & stop trying to control things I couldn’t change.
I may not be able to change him, but I can surely change myself. This was one of the hardest things I had to realize within myself in the first couple years of our marriage. So many opportunities missed of building my husband up rather than looking down on him for what I saw as things he “needed” to change. I was so focused on fixing him that I didn’t see the very things within myself that was lacking in love, compassion, & healing.
You see I had blind spots. Couldn’t even see my own shortcomings. It was easier to point out his than deal with my very own. I would make suggestions on how he could do better but didn’t even think twice to see if there was something that I myself needed self examining. But let it have been the other way around & I would have been so hurt.
Transformation needed to happen, but was I ready to look myself in the mirror & allow God to soften my heart & reveal to me my own flaws & sins? I allowed my own pride to cause unnecessary tension in our marriage. I had to really check myself & stop trying to control things I couldn’t change.
I knew one thing for sure, I could work on changing myself. My nagging & complaining never fixed anything rather making things worse. I had good intentions wanting to help but I felt like I was more godly. Anyone else struggle with this? I didn’t want to be in this trap anymore. I wanted to build my marriage, & I did just that. Instead of nagging I just prayed over him. I prayed for myself. I began building him up in times where he needed to be celebrated for both the big & little things.
Changing myself really helped change our marriage for the better. It healed what could have really been damaged if I allowed myself to continue to tear my husband down. Are you self examining yourself in the mirror before trying to fix your significant other? Something to ask yourself.