God uses marriage to glorify Himself, not my selfish agenda and misconceptions.

A marriage that’s not based on personal happiness, but holiness. —These two years of marriage have broken down these ideas on what I thought marriage should look like. I would put so much pressure on myself to be this “perfect” wife because I had so many people looking up to us. I struggled with feeling as though every disagreement was a sign of a failing marriage. I struggled to understand that this covenant wasn’t solely about making me happy.

The reality is, marriage can become an idol, leaving one empty if not careful & that was exactly what I did. I allowed my emotions to dictate how I would treat my husband regardless of the fact I was to be a reflection, a mirror of Christ. I let my brokenness lead my unrealistic expectations causing me to distant myself and shut down when I felt unloved or not appreciated. It was all about my own happiness rather than our holiness that was to be represented in our home.

I’ve learned over these years, that God uses marriage to glorify Himself, not my selfish agenda & misconceptions. He has shown me the ugliness of my heart, yet at the same time healed deep wounds that were rooted from my childhood. Marriage has shown me that it’s not all about happiness, but how virtuous & holy I become, how God can use me to be the best version of myself—so that I can be a better reflection of Him. And that in itself has helped our marriage blossom, bearing fruit that wasn’t planted overnight.